Heero Wants Coffee
by Kole
Summary: Heeros Quest to get coffee. I must insist that you review or I will have you eliminated...
1. Heero Wants Coffee... Bad/ Trowa gets bu...

Heero Wants Coffee  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Gundam Wing. In fact, I'm a kid, I own nothing. Well maybe my Playstation 2 and other cool game systems, but thats not the point. Wouldn't it be cool if I did own Gundam though? I could have my own Epyon and all that!  
Anyway, another note. I am under the influence of a bowl of Fudge-Chocolate Ice Cream and a can of Mountain Dew right now. Plus this is all improv, right off the top of my head. So unless you want to read the improvised ravings of a Caffine addict, leave now. If not, enjoy the show! *Note* This is my first fic and I cannot garantee reader satisfaction. Thanks.  
  
The story starts out with Heero, as usual, working at his computer and then Duo bursts in.  
  
Duo: Hey Heero! What's up? Working as usual.  
  
Heero: I'm trying to find the fastest route to the coffee shop. Traffic's horrible thees-a-days.  
  
Duo: You feelin' alright man? This isn't alot like you.  
  
Heero: I know. But ever since that onna Relena declared "total pacifism," I havent had anyting to do. No cool fighting or blowing up buildings or stuff, it's a real downer.  
  
Duo: O...kay...  
  
Quatre walks in sipping a cup of Double Mocha Triple Late Java  
  
Quatre: Have you guys seen that trafic out there? I hade to wait 30 minutes just to get to the cofee shop, but hey, it was worth it.  
  
Heero: Did you get me any?  
  
Quatre: No... should I have?  
  
Heero: *While standing up quickly* Omeo Korosu! *Pulls out gun and points it as Quatre's head* Why didn't you get me any!  
  
Quatre: Well... there was a one drink limit... and...  
  
Wu Fei walks in holding a Starbucks cup  
  
Heero: *Points gun at Wu Fei* WHERE DID YOU GET THAT!  
  
Wu Fei: At the new Starbucks around the corner. There's like 5 of them there... They re-named the whole area the Starbucks district...  
  
Heero: *Un-cocks gun* Okay... I'll deal with you later Quatre.  
  
So Heero Leaves and heads down the street to the Starbucks District, but sees a huge line outside of all five  
  
Heero: What happened! Why are all of these people here!?  
  
Heero runs up to the front door of the nearest one  
  
Coffee Thirsty Strangers: Hey kid! Back of the line! We didn't camp here overnight to have a punk like you cut infront of us! We camped here overnight to get bad tasting coffee at ultra high prices! Go to Mc. Donalds to get some ya Delinquent!  
  
Heero, slightly angered at what the rude coffee drinkers were saying, walked reluctanly to the deserted Mc. Donalds.  
  
????: AHHHHH!!! HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT!!!!  
  
Heero: What the...?  
  
Trowa runs up to the front counter with coffe spilled all down the front of him  
  
Trowa: IT BURNS! *Rolls around on the floor screaming for water*  
  
Pizza Faced Cashier Teen: That'll be a buck fifty man.  
  
Trowa: AHH! *pulls a buck fifty out of his pocket and throws it at the cashier*  
  
Pizza Faced Cashier Teen: Dude! I made my quota!  
  
The Pizza Faced Cashier kid Throws a bottle of Lukewarm water at Trowa but it misses and splashes all over the place  
  
Trowa: ANOTHER QUICK! IM GETTING BOILED ALIVE!  
  
Pizza Faced Cashier Teen: I can't give theese away man, buck fifty.  
  
Heero, sensing that Trowa was in danger, punches out the Teen and takes a bunch of cold water from their secret stock and cools trowa down.  
  
Trowa: OOOOH that feels good. Im gonna sue you guys!  
  
Pizza Faced Cashier Teen: Like thats never happened before!  
  
  
  
End of chapter. WHat will happen next. What will Heero do to Quatre when he gets back? Will Trowa win his law suit? Will Heero actally get a hot cup of Joe? Stay tuned for the answers!  
  
  



	2. It All Ends Well/ Quatre Gets His

Heero Wants Coffee Chapter 2  
  
*Duo walks onto the stage* *The Theme to the Drew Carrey Show (Cleveland Rocks, Download it today!) is blaring*  
  
Duo: HEY KOLE! KOLE! COULD YOU TURN THAT MUSIC OFF?  
  
Kole: *Singing* Cleveland Rocks, Cleveland Rocks, Cleveland Rocks, Cleveland Rocks!  
  
Duo: Never should have let him download Napster...  
  
*Duo walks into a soundproof room*  
  
Duo: Since Kole is...erm... indisposed, I guess I'll have to say the disclaimer.  
  
*Disclaimer*  
Kole doesnt own anything. Not Gundam, not any of the companies mentioned, or the Drew Carrey Show (Although he wishes he did...). So don't go suing him for mentioning anything copyrighted or any legal crap like that. Now on with the show!  
  
*Duo walks back on to the stage*  
  
Duo: IS THE SONG ALMOST OVER!?  
  
Kole: Just about! *Singing* Cleveland Rocks! *not singing* Done. Alright, now for the disclaimer...  
  
Duo: I did it for you...  
  
Kole: WHAT! I wanted to do that!  
  
Duo: Well if you werent listening to Napster this wouldn't have happened! Besides, I had to add another part to it because of you singing that dumb song!  
  
Kole: IT'S NOT DUMB!  
  
Duo: Oh yeah!?  
  
*Trowa sticks his head out of the curtain*  
  
Trowa: You guys! Stop fighting and start the show already!  
  
Kole and Duo: Thanks Mother!  
  
*Duo walks off stage grumbling*  
  
Kole: Alright. Sorry to waste your time folks. Im not on a sugar high anymore, in fact, completely the opposite. I just got back from school and Im writing this fic tired. Lets give it a shot. Lights, Camera, FICTION!  
  
*************************************************************************************  
We last left out heroes in many a mess. Quatre had a death mark put on his head by Heero for not getting him a cup of coffee when he went to the coffee shop, same with Wu Fei. Trowa got scalded by boiling hot coffee from Mc. Donalds, and is now planning to sue them. And Heero is desparately searching for a cup of good Joe...  
  
*Heero is staning outside the Mc. Donalds watching and ambulance, taking Trowa to the Burn Ward to get his 3rd degree burns healed, pull away*  
  
Heero: What am I gonna do now? How am I gonna get some coffee? I know! The Mall!  
  
*5 minutes later, at the front of the mall, looking at the mall directory*  
  
Heero: Let's see here... Coffee Hut, Coffee Shack, Phillips Coffee Shanty... Cant there be a place thats not named after a bums home? This looks good! International House Of Coffee... IHOC. Travel 5 miles down the west wing, go up the stairs and walk 20 miles down to the Northeast wing, then go down the starirs and head 10 miles to the hub and look for the directory.............  
  
*Turns around and sees IHOC*  
  
Heero: *Knocks Down the Directory* Stupid good for nothing....  
  
IHOC Cashier: Coffee Coffee. Get ya' red hot coffee right here! 500 flavors!  
  
Heero: I'll take some black De-Caff..  
  
IHOC Cashier: *Blank Look* Buh-Lahck Dee-Chaff?  
  
Heero: Don't tell me you dont have it?  
  
IHOC Cashier: Oh! You must mean Blackberry!  
  
Heero: No... Just plain Black De-caff  
  
IHOC Cashier: Sorry kid, aint got any of the stuff. We got Cherry, Chocolate, *list goes on*, but no "Buh-Lahck Dee-Chaff". You should try Phil's Coffee Shanty.  
  
Heero: AHHH!!!! *Rips hair out and runs away* MUST FIND COFFEE!  
  
*Heero rips out of the mall and runs a few blocks down the street*  
  
Heero: *Falls down on the street gasping for breath* Hey, whats that smell? *Looks up and sees a Court House* Thats where its coming from!  
  
*Up in the Court house*  
  
Judge: *Slams Gavel* Case of The Cat That Won't Let Go of the Plaintiffs Face, the court has decided that the Defendant, Mittens the Cat, is guilty of grasping on to Mr. Tanaka's face and not letting go. He is sentenced to rectal electrocution. Bailiff, please escort the Defendant out of the court room and into the death chamber. *Bailiff escorts Mr. Tanaka, with Mittens Clasped firmly to his face, out of the room*  
  
Heero: *Walks up to judge* Your Majesty, do you know where I can get some coffee?  
  
Judge: The Jurrors get complimentary coffee in the big room where they got to make their decisions.  
  
Heero: Im there!  
  
Judge: Wait a second, you have to be a member of the jury to have access tot he room. Okay! Sign me up!  
  
*Heero is signed up and rushes to the jury room*  
  
Heero: Whoa! A whole wall of coffee makers! Wait a minute... something's off here. THEY'RE ALL EMPTY!  
  
*Janitor walks in*  
  
Heero: WHAT HAPPENED HERE!  
  
Janitor: Those Jurrors pulled an all nighter trying to decide the fate of that poor kitty. Itll take a few more hours for them to fill back up.  
  
Heero: I dont have that much time, Dammit!  
  
Janitor: WHy don't you try the International House of Coffee at the mall? They have 500 flavors, y'know.  
  
Heero: *Tears out of room and back to the court room*  
  
Judge: *Gavel Slams*We will now hear the case of Trowa Barton.  
  
Trowa: *Dressed as a lawer* Ahem. I was at the local Mc. Donalds and...  
  
Judge: Not anouther one of these cases again... Over to the window *Points off to the side where there is a window that has "Mc. Donalds Coffe Burn Cases*  
  
Trowa: *Walk over to window and attendant gives him $1,000,000* YES! I thought it would be harder...  
  
Heero: Congratulations Trowa. What are you going to do with the money?  
  
Trowa: Well Im going to invest most of it and *blah blah blah blah*  
  
*They walk out the door and see a sign that reads "Coffee Maker Sale!" in front of a store.  
  
Heero: Hold that thought! *Tears into the store and buys a Joe-O-Matic and some coffee beans* Alright! now I have to think of a way to pay back that Quatre...  
  
*Back at the Winner Mansion*  
  
*Ding Dong, Ding Dong*  
  
Quatre: The doorbell! I wonder who it could be. *Opens the door* *A splash of ultra hot coffee hits Quatre in the face and he falls to the ground screaming "MY FACE! MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!"*  
  
Heero: *Holding a coffee maker and an empty Mc. Donalds coffee cup* Thats what you get for being so selfish!  
  
THE END  



End file.
